Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development and How Kids Cope

Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development and How Kids Cope

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4.30.2025 0 comments

Author: Trisha Houghton, CNS, ASIST

If you’ve ever sat and talked with a child, it’s easy to see that their worldview is incredibly simple.

They don’t understand complicated concepts like external ethics or moral reasoning. Instead, their minds are focused on doing what feels good to them in the moment, even if it may not be “right” for them or others.

The truth is that ethics and morality are learned attitudes and behaviors. They’re concepts that children understand and adopt more and more as they age.

American psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg created a theory of the stages of moral development that explained the process by which children learned ethical reasoning and moral behavior.

In this post, we’ll take a closer look at what these six stages are to help you understand how your child is growing into a greater comprehension of ethics and morality. Through the information we’ll share below, you’ll be better equipped to help your child as they work through the complex topic of moral reasoning.

Overview of the Six Stages Across the Three Levels

The six stages of moral developments as outlined by Kohlberg’s theories are:

1. Obedience and punishment orientation
2. Self-interest orientation
3. Interpersonal accord and conformity
4. Authority and social-order maintaining orientation
5. Social contract orientation
6. Universal principles of ethics

These stages are spread across three levels: pre-conventional, conventional, and post-conventional.

Let’s break them down a bit further.

parent and child talking and developing moral judgment under social norms

Pre-Conventional Level: Obedience and Self-Interest in Early Childhood

The Pre-Conventional Level typically occurs when the children are very young, between the ages of 2 and 7.

During this level, children don’t have an internalized understanding of morals, but they follow the morals as explained to them by outside influences (parents, teachers, etc.).

Stage 1

At Stage 1, the Obedience and Punishment Orientation Stage, children act largely to avoid direct consequences. If an action will be followed by a punishment, they will typically avoid it as “bad”. If an action will be followed by a reward, on the other hand, it is a “good” action in their minds.

An outside moral code is what guides children’s actions and facilitates moral decision making at this stage.

Stage 2

By Stage 2, the Self-Interest Orientation Stage,children have already learned the basic notion of “good/bad” (as defined by reward/punishment) and begin to grasp morality, though it’s still imposed on them by outside influences. Now, they begin to think in greater complexity, regarding their self-interest.

No longer is it only “Adult X says this is good” or “Parent Y will punish me for this bad behavior”. Now, there is another level of “How will this benefit me?” Actions are judged as “right” if they serve some need your child has or gives them something they believe they want (which feels like a “reward”).

Their behavior is not yet moral—everything is still transactional at this stage, with their own self-interests being the primary motivator.

Conventional Level: Conformity and Law-Abiding Behavior in Middle Childhood

Children reach the Conventional Level around the ages of 8 or 9, and remain in this level through adolescence, sometimes even into early adulthood.

At this level, older children and teenagers begin to understand the nuances of right and wrong as dictated by cultures, customs, and traditions. They also begin to comprehend established codes of conduct: city laws, school regulations, sports team requirements, etc.

This is when moral reasoning changes to become internalized. No longer are they only imposed by an outside source (with the power to reward or punish), but adult role models are imitated and their moral values adopted or absorbed.

Social rules and expectations provide a clear guide to what is “acceptable” or “unacceptable” behavior, with the goal of fitting in and belonging being a primary motivator driving action and behavior.

Stage 3

At Stage 3, the Interpersonal Accord and Conformity Stage,morality tends to be guided in large part by social approval.

Peers as well as parents, teachers, and authority figures provide approval or disapproval, and the child shapes their morality accordingly. They do so in order to be seen as “good” by the society they value. Their actions and behavior typically reflect their desire to please others, and through doing so, to conform and feel a sense of belonging.

Relationships are the driving force at this conventional morality stage. The more a child’s behavior is approved of by the role models and social connections they find most valuable, the more they will internalize that behavior as “good”.

Stage 4

At Stage 4, the Authority and Social-Order Maintaining Orientation Stage,teenagers have expanded their worldview to look beyond merely their social group.

They realize, “If this small group accepts me because I follow their rules and conform, the world at large will do so if I maintain social order and follow the laws established in my community, city, and country.”

Behavior is not driven solely by the perception of a small peer group or valued role models, but by society at large, with the goal of fitting in through maintaining social order. Societal rules are viewed as crucial for the collective wellbeing of not only the individuals, but the world into which they are attempting to integrate.

Post-Conventional Level: Developing Independent Moral Reasoning

The Post-Conventional Level of morality is the highest moral development level, typically reached through adulthood and persisting throughout the remainder of your life.

picture illustrating how moral reasoning looks like in a person

At this level, you develop a greater understanding of what is “right” and “wrong” through your own interpretation of universal ethical principles, not just society’s definitions or established norms.

Adults have built their foundation on the previous stages of moral reasoning, and now they’re ready to expand beyond outside influences and perspectives and conceptualize their own moral principles. This is when personal morality becomes the primary driving factor behind behavior.

Abstract principles—such as justice, equity, fairness, decency, empathy, and other values we consider fundamental as humans—start to carry a great deal of weight.

Stage 5

At Stage 5, the Social Contract Orientation Stage, they become aware that laws exist with the intention of providing good to the largest percentage of the population, and they may sometimes work against individuals.

Issues begin to take on nuances and shades of gray. It’s at this stage that ethical questions, thought experiments, and hypothetical moral dilemmas—such as the Heinz dilemma or the trolley problem—are pondered more fully and explored. The individual reaches an outcome they deem satisfactory based on their own understanding of morality, not what the world at large or society around them deems satisfactory.

Kohlberg estimated that only around 10% or fewer people ever reach this postconventional morality stage of advanced moral reasoning.

Stage 6

At Stage 6, the Universal Ethical Principles Stage,they have developed self-chosen ethical principles that apply (or ought to apply) across the board.

For example, “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” or “justice for all” are universal ethical principles. Non-violence, equal human rights, and the value of human worth and dignity are other examples.

These more general ethical principles drive behavior and provide motivation. However, because of their abstract nature, Kohlberg questioned whether anyone truly ever reaches this stage—what could be described as “total moral enlightenment”.

It is a question of whether anyone could ever act in total service of ethics, with no self-interest guiding their actions.

How Kids Emotionally Process Moral Dilemmas at Each Stage

Below is a breakdown of how building moral character looks in children:

  • At Stage 1, the driving factor behind behavior is fear of punishment. Children obey and avoid actions that might bring punishment.
  • At Stage 2, the driving factor behind moral dilemmas is self-interest. If the action fills some need or obtains some want, it is largely considered “right”.
  • At Stage 3, the driving factor behind in moral dilemmas is good relationships and social acceptance. Children want to belong, and at this stage, it becomes clear that behaving in a way that is deemed “good” to their peers and valued role models will facilitate this acceptance.
  • At Stage 4, the driving factor behind moral dilemmas is maintaining social orders. Following authority and heeding societal rules provides children and teenagers with a way to fit in not only among their peers and at school, but in the world at large.
  • At Stage 5, the driving factor behind moral dilemmas is individual rights and beliefs, as well as a greater understanding of social contracts. It’s about determining both what is “right” for the individual, and also the social contracts or social agreements that benefit the majority.
  • At Stage 6, the driving factor behind moral dilemmas is personal ethics, justice, and equality. Individuals have created their own moral guidelines and rules for “being a good human”, based on their interpretation of the world around them and abstract concepts like justice and fairness. They are willing to defy society in order to defend the morals they have built.

So, it’s not just about how complicated the moral issues become. It’s about the changing conditions that drive kids’ understanding and reasoning.

Common Moral Challenges Kids Face at Different Moral Stages

Each moral standpoint has its own challenges to overcome, and they can be summarized as follows:

  • At Stage 1, children will typically be challenged by their lack of understanding of right vs. wrong, because they have not yet been rewarded or punished for such behavior. This is the stage when they are testing their boundaries, trying out various behaviors in order to determine whether you, their authority figure, will mark it as “right” or “wrong” for them by your response to it.
  • At Stage 2, children will typically be entirely egocentric, driven primarily by their own desire—a very strong “quid pro quo” mindset. This is the stage when adults struggle to help children see any benefits beyond their immediate satisfaction or reward.
  • At Stage 3, the struggle will largely be driven by the desire to fit in. Any lack of acceptance—from role models as well as peers—will likely become a larger emotional issue, while acceptance and “being liked” because of “good” behavior will cement the importance of such behaviors in the child’s mind.
  • At Stage 4, teenagers and adults may struggle with a sense of feeling “trapped” within the societal laws and rules that they deem so important. They become rule-followers with the intention of fitting in, but that can cause them to feel like their lives are being controlled entirely by outside forces, regardless of their own desires.
  • At Stage 5, when morality becomes more flexible and individual, teenagers and adults will often be challenged when the world around them fails to agree with their sense of moral reasoning. The established, rigid, and sometimes perceived unjust laws of society can cause them to feel like they don’t belong or that they are not seen as individuals.
  • At Stage 6, morality becomes the only driving force behind action, which can flout rules and laws. The notion that “laws are only valid if they are grounded in fairness and justice” can lead to law-breaking behavior that, even though driven by ethics, still contravene the laws of your community, city, or country.

The support from community, family, caregivers, and peer groups helps children navigate these difficulties and process the spectrum of moral emotions that come along.

Educational Strategies to Encourage Healthy Moral Development

Teachers and parents of children, teenagers, and young adults, those going through Stages 1 through 4, will find a few simple strategies can work very effectively to encourage moral education and cognitive development.

These strategies are as follows:

  • Establish clear rules. This is crucial during the first stage, when punishment vs. reward is the driving factor. Make certain the rules are clear, along with the consequences of breaking those rules and the rewards of heeding them. This creates clear boundaries, which young children need as their young minds begin to comprehend the basics of morality.
  • Foster empathy and compassion. Particularly during the stage of self-interest, it’s important to encourage children to see the wants and needs of others as being of value.. You can help them to understand that empathy and compassion are in their own interest—creating strong social bonds and helping them fit in, which will be crucial in Stage 3. They may not fully grasp others needs, however, it’s about creating consistent encouragement to prepare them for deeper social understanding later.the feelings of others into the equation from a young age.
  • Model the right behavior. This is important throughout all stages of the child’s moral reasoning, but particularly during the first three. Your child should see you doing what you tell them is right, and you can highlight the benefits of that behavior to engage their self-interest and desire to belong (Stages 2 and 3).
  • Encourage friendships and relationships. Particularly during Stage 3, friendships and relationships will be central to the growth of moral reasoning skills. Work with them to build connections with peers, schoolmates, neighbors, and older adults who can serve as role models.
  • Encourage community engagement. As they move from Stage 3 into Stage 4, becoming more involved in and connected with their community will begin to develop that more “global” awareness that will help them feel like they belong as they follow the rules of the world around them.

parent helping their child develop their own ethical principles with the moral development Kohlberg outlined

  • Challenge them to think critically. From a young age (as young as 8 or 9, but definitely during adolescent years), start challenging your children to think critically. They will likely begin applying this around ages 11-13 as they enter adolescence. This is the stage where you want to ask them questions, pose ethical dilemmas, and listen to what they are saying without correcting or directing their answer. You can help them understand greater abstract reasoning, concepts like justice and fairness, but those will be of more importance later in their lives as they progress into Stage 5.

Prioritize your child’s moral development and be a part of it as much as you can, and you will find the journey incredibly rewarding!

Criticisms of Kohlberg’s Theory and Modern Interpretations

Kohlberg’s theory has received some criticism, including:

  • It’s androcentric, created chiefly taking into account a masculine point of view without a full understanding of female perspectives.
  • It doesn’t apply to all cultures universally, but is largely focused on Western culture and perspectives.
  • It states that “moral development progresses through increasingly complex stages of reasoning”, and is not driven by intuition, which others (such as social intuitionists) argue lead to moral judgements made without the need to reason.
  • It lacks the nuances created by a diverse range of personalities, being far too broad for the complexity of our modern world.

However, despite these criticisms, it can still provide parents with a starting point to help them understand their child’s moral thinking and encourage moral development.

Wrapping Up

While Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development may not be the be-all-and-end-all, it’s an excellent tool you can use as a teacher or parent to follow along with your child as they travel along the journey toward moral reasoning.

All of us are continually evolving and growing, and understanding that we’re all moving through these six stages can help you to both have a clearer understanding of your own morals and find tools to help your child along their own moral growth.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What are the key moral characteristics of each stage in Kohlberg’s moral development theory?

At Stage 1, obedience to avoid punishment and obtain reward is the driving factor, while self-interest is the primary motivator at Stage 2. Acceptance among peers and role models is prime at Stage 3, and at Stage 4, acceptance in society at large is crucial. Individual morality takes the lead at Stage 5, while Stage 6 is about universal application of what we have deemed to be “ethical” or “moral” through our years of development.

How does peer interaction influence moral development in school-age children?

School-age children often move through Stages 1 (obedience/punishment), Stages 2 (self-interest,) and 3 (conformity/acceptance) with some beginning early development of Stage 4 (awareness of rules and authority). Peer interaction throughout these stages creates empathy and helps children look beyond their own self-interests, and creates a sense of acceptance and belonging.

How does emotional intelligence support the development of moral reasoning?

Emotional intelligence helps children begin to recognize the feelings of others and gradually shift from self-focused thinking to more empathetic decision-making. This leads to greater acceptance, which helps children to understand that making choices that benefit others can ultimately be more “right” than making choices that only improve their own lives.

Resources

Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development

Kohlberg’s Theory of Moral Development

CHAPTER SEVEN: KOHLBERG’S STAGES OF MORAL DEVELOPMENT

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