Sexual Orientation vs. Gender Identity vs. Gender Expression: Differences Explained

The subject of sexual orientation and gender identity has been an ever increasing topic in the news especially as of late.

In many ways, it’s become the central topic of focus for many people whose lives revolve around the desire to live the way they want to live and love who they want to love.

For those not immersed in the subject, there’s a lot that isn’t understood—for example, how gender identity and gender expression are different, or how they do or don’t affect sexual orientation.

In this post, we’re going to take a deep dive into the topic and give you a much closer look to help make things clear and easily comprehensible.

We’ll look at the specific meanings of three terms: sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. We’ll examine the key differences between them and a few of the misconceptions surrounding them.

By the end, you’ll have a clear understanding of how these concepts are interconnected but remain distinct from each other.

What Is Sexual Orientation and How Is It Defined

Sexual orientation is all about who someone finds themselves physically or romantically attracted to.

It may be a member of the opposite sex or a different gender (heterosexual), a member of the same gender (homosexual, gay, lesbian, etc.), people of multiple or even all genders (bisexual, pansexual, etc.), or no one at all (asexual).

You can read more about the different types of sexualities here.

Sexual orientation is not the same as sex.

The term “sex” refers to the biological status, typically assigned at birth. Historically, sex is either male or female, with “intersex” referring to biological variations in sexual characteristics (anatomy, hormones, or chromosomes) that don’t fit either female or male.

Understanding Gender Identity: Your Internal Sense of Self

Gender identity is an internal experience shaped primarily by self-perception that may or may not align with biological sex. It has everything to do with a deeply held internal sense of who you are and how you perceive yourself. It’s how you want the world to see you, too.

Someone’s gender identity may be the same as their sex—a.k.a., male who perceives himself as male, female who perceives herself as female—or it could be different, or even opposite.

A few examples of identities on the gender spectrum include (but are very much not limited to):

• Cisgender, or identifying with the sex you were born with.
• Omnigender, or identifying with all genders.
• Gender fluid, or a gender identity that shifts between or beyond societal expectations.
• Bigender, or identifying with two genders.
• Transgender, or identifying with a different sex than you were born with (often leading to gender transition).
• Gender expansive, or identifying with a gender beyond traditional societal expectations of male or female.
• Non-binary, or identifying with a gender outside of male or female.
• Agender, not identifying with either male or female gender.
• Androgyne, or identifying as both male and female.
• Gender outlaw, or refusing to identify with society’s accepted definition of gender.

Gender identities may be linked to sexual attraction or have nothing to do with it at all. It’s related entirely to an internal sense of self.

Gender dysphoria is the name given to the mental and emotional unease or distress that arises when your gender identity is misaligned with your birth-assigned sex.

What Does Gender Expression Mean in Everyday Life

Gender expression is an external presentation of one’s gender identity through various means. It’s how you want the world to perceive you, and how you express your gender identity to the world.

You express your gender in many ways—for example, in the clothing you choose to wear, the tone of your voice, your behavior, and myriad other characteristics. Many of them are conscious but some are unconscious or subconscious.

Historically, your cues are translated as either masculine or feminine, known as binary gender cues. This continues to change as society evolves as more people embrace non-binary and gender fluid expressions.

Again, gender identity has everything to do with your internal sense of self—while gender expression is how you outwardly show that sense of self for the world around you.

Key Differences Between Orientation, Identity, and Expression

The table below shows the main differences between sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression.

Category	Definition	Focuses On	Examples	How It Differs from the Others
Sexual Orientation	A person’s enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction to others.	Who someone is romantically or sexually attracted to	Gay, lesbian, bisexual, heterosexual, pansexual, asexual, etc.	Sexual orientation is about attraction, but does not define how someone identifies themselves or chooses to express that identity.
Gender Identity	A person’s internal, often deeply held sense of their own gender.	Who someone knows or understands themselves to be	Woman, man, both, neither, non-binary, genderqueer, transgender, agender, etc.	Gender identity is about self-perception, how we see ourselves. It has nothing to do with who someone is attracted to and doesn’t determine how they choose to look, dress, or act.
Gender Expression	How a person presents their gender outwardly, through appearance, behavior, or voice.	How someone shows their gender	Feminine, masculine, non-binary, androgynous, gender-nonconforming, fluid presentation, etc.	Gender expression is about outward presentation and how we want the world to see us. It is not about who we are romantically or sexually attracted to.

How These Concepts Interact But Remain Distinct

All three of these concepts are interconnected—after all, how we feel about ourselves shapes how we want to be seen, and sometimes even who we hope is attracted to us. However, there are crucial differences that keep them distinct.

Sexual orientationis directly linked to sexual, romantic, and emotional attraction, and thus is typically limited to potential romantic partners. Who you are attracted to may or may not shape how you feel about yourself or how you present yourself to the world.

Gender identity is directly connected to an individual’s internal sense of self – how you feel about and understand yourself. It can influence how you want the world to see you, and even shape the kinds of connections you seek. Because it’s such a core part of self-awareness, it often serves as a foundation for other aspects of identity. Meanwhile, gender expression and orientation are often more visible on the surface.

Gender expression is shaped by how we want to belong in the world. It is influenced by social contexts as well as our desire to be understood and accepted. As both social and relational beings, humans seek connection, approval, and recognition. Expression is often one of the ways we communicate our identity with the hope that it will be seen, respected, and accepted. [2].

Our sense of self creates the foundation for how we behave and we also need to feel like our behavior is accepted—and beyond that, recognized, affirmed, and connected to others.

Gender expression is how we show ourselves to the world. Sometimes to feel accepted, sometimes to assert who we are regardless. Whether we choose to express ourselves as the same gender we were assigned at birth, a different gender, or no gender at all, many hope that our expression is seen with respect and affirmation..

Gender identity often shapes our gender expression, but while identity remains internalized, expression is an outward demonstration of who we believe ourselves to be.

Common Myths and Confusions About LGBTQ+ Terminology

Below, we discuss some of the common misconceptions, myths, and frequently asked questions about the LGBTQ+ terminology.

What does LGBTQ2S+ stand for?

The acronym LGBTQ2S+ stands for:

• Lesbian
• Gay
• Bisexual
• Transgender
• Queer or questioning
• Two-spirit (a term native to Indigenous North Americans to describe a person embodying both feminine and masculine sprits)
• Other sexual orientations and gender identities (as referred to by the “+”) allow for including what’s not so easily defined or labeled

Sometimes, the acronym will be LGBTQIA+, which refers to:

• Intersex
• Asexual

Are gender pronouns really important?

Pronouns are directly linked to gender identity. They tell you how a person sees themselves, whether or not they choose to express that gender to the world.

They are important because they tell the person you’re talking to that “I see you and not only understand, but approve of you as a human being”.

It’s a form of acceptance that you practice every day by using the correct pronouns for those who identify as male or female, and should be extended to those with other gender identities too.

What should I do if I use the wrong pronoun and mis-gender someone?

It’s human nature to make mistakes, and so long as they aren’t malicious or intentional, a simple apology should suffice.

In many cases, using this sort of language goes against our habits—we’re used to addressing those who visibly present as female by “she” and “her”, and those who visibly present as male by “he” and “him”.

With this understanding that human error does happen, coupled with self-growth in awareness, you can apologize and make the effort to ask about one’s pronouns and not assume, moving forward.

Are sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression a choice?

Sexual orientation and gender identity are not a choice.

Who you are attracted to isn’t typically something you can control—it’s a matter of biology, your body reacting in a specific and physical way to someone of the same, opposite, or different sex because it finds them appealing as a potential romantic partner.

How you identify yourself also isn’t something you can typically control. Our identities are usually formed during the earliest years of our lives, and continue to form as we grow into adolescence and can grow and change over time throughout our adulthood. It’s not a choice but rather how you feel deep down about who you are.

How you choose to express your gender, however, most often is a choice like how someone dresses or styles their hair. You may choose to express your gender visibly or flamboyantly, subtly, or not at all.

It’s worth noting that some aspects of expression are culturally shaped or limited for safety concerns especially for the trans/nonbinary people. Generally speaking, how you choose to express yourself, or not, is something you control.

Understanding is the First Step Toward Acceptance

Discussions about sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression are circulating because we are constantly evolving as people and they are truly important concepts. After all, attraction plays such a massive role in how we live (how we go about attracting a mate or mates), and our lives are largely founded on our sense of self.

Even the way someone chooses to express (or does not express) their gender can reveal a great deal about them, and tell you how they want (or do not desire) to be seen. Remember these reflect identity, culture, and safety considerations.

Understanding these nuances is a crucial beginning that helps promote empathy, respect, and stronger relationships with both those similar to you and different. The more you comprehend and embrace these concepts, the more you’ll be able to find connection and respectful communication with both those who share the same sexual orientation, gender identities, and gender expressions with you and those who are different.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean to be an ally?

The term “ally” is used to describe anyone who actively supports and advocates for a marginalized group. You don’t need to belong to that group, but recognize and understand (as best you can) the challenges they face. You listen, learn, stand, and work with them to challenge inequality and overcome systemic barriers. This makes you an ally.

What role does culture play in shaping gender expression?

Gender roles and identities are learned and internalized from a wide range of sources: family, friends, literature, media, government, and social institutions, just to name a few. In cultures where it’s unacceptable or unsafe to express gender identity, typically gender expression remains subtle or invisible. In cultures where all gender identities are accepted and welcomed, people are more free to express gender in whatever fashion or to whatever extent they desire.

What is the impact of societal norms on gender expression?

Societal norms shape our behavior, displays of emotions, and our appearance by telling us what is perceived as “acceptable” and “unacceptable”. If we feel the way we express our gender identity is acceptable, we will usually do so, more freely. However, if our expression is deemed “unacceptable,” we are more likely to hide our true selves.

Resources

A Guide To Gender Identity Terms

Understanding transgender people, gender identity and gender expression

Gender identity and gender expression

Gender, gender identity, and gender expression

WORDS MATTER: A Guide to Inclusive Language around Gender, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression