10 Things to Let Go of (And Make Room for Positive Change)

The Law of Attraction tells us that negative thoughts breed negative energy, which in turn brings negative experiences into our lives. On the flip side, positive thoughts increase positive energy and generate positive experiences.

So what are you focusing on? Are your thoughts mostly positive, or do you find yourself wrestling with negative self-talk and feelings?

It’s important to let go of old, negative patterns of feeling and thinking in order to make room for new and beautiful experiences and emotions.

Here are 10 things to let go of in your life.

1. Let Go Of The Desire To Fit In 

We all want to fit in (especially adolescents, according to this 2021 study), to be liked by acquaintances, others we like or those in our circle of friends. In truth, there’s nothing wrong with this. It feels good to be liked – it builds our confidence when we know we fit in and have found our “tribe”.

But you can take it too far. The need to fit in everywhere and to be liked by everyone can lead to obsessing over the opinions of others. 

You can find yourself wondering, “Do they like me?” which often leads to “Why don’t they like me?” and off you go down the rabbit hole of guilt, shame, anxiety, fear, or self-doubt.

Let go of that desire to fit in everywhere and with everyone. Find your place, find your tribe, and let that be enough for you.

2. Let Go Of Self-Criticism

We are our own harshest critics. We excel at dwelling on our past mistakes and failures, at finding ways we messed up. Our brains are hard-wired for self-criticism and limiting beliefs.

Unfortunately, that is a lot of negative energy that will bring negative feelings and negative experiences into your life. That’s why self-criticism is one of the most important things to let go.

Accept that you’re going to make mistake after mistake, that you’re imperfect, and that you’ve screwed up. Then let that go. Stop treating yourself harshly and criticizing yourself for who you are or what you’ve done in the past.

Make it a point to find the good and positive about yourself, all the things that you like and that make you happy to be you. Do this daily, every chance you get, and slowly, that self-destructive mindset will shift and you’ll view yourself in a positive, favorable light.

Learn more about the logic of self-destruction in the mind in this scientific article.

3. Let Go Of Criticism Of Others 

Just like we can criticize ourselves cruelly, we can be equally cruel to others. Even if you never voice those criticisms aloud, they’re still there in your mind, taking root and festering with negativity.

It takes conscious practice to stop thinking critical thoughts about others. Be kind and gentle.

When others make mistakes, accept them just as you’d want them to accept yours. Focus on the positive aspects of the people around you, and over time, you’ll see everyone in a more positive light.

4. Let Go Of Toxic Relationships 

Toxic relationships will weigh you down and ruin your personal life. Toxic people radiate toxicity, which will infect you and make your life more negative.

Not only that, but in order to be good to those people, you have to give up parts of yourself and stop being who you really are. That’s a dangerous, slippery slope. This 2021 study, published in Sage Choice, covers how toxic relationships affect you.

Free yourself of toxic people and find those who uplift you and make you better, rather than sacrificing your well-being by giving energy to a bad relationship. Attracting happiness personally begins with moving on from what makes you less yourself.

5. Let Go Of Fear Of Failure

Fear of failure, called atychiphobia by Psychology Today, will stop you from taking chances, accepting risks, and making the mistakes that are an inevitable part of life.

Try new things, embrace change, and give yourself the opportunity to grow—even if that growth includes some failure.

6. Let Go Of Attachments To Material Things 

We all have a “toy” we love: a beautiful house, a fast car, modern electronics, gadgets, fashionable clothing, and the list goes on. But an attachment to material things will only weigh you down, hampering your well-being, as evidenced by this 2022 study.

Not only will you be stuck in one place, but you’ll waste a great deal of mental space and energy worrying about those things, worrying that they’ll be stolen, damaged, or no longer cutting-edge.

Enjoy the material things you own, but don’t let them rule your life and thoughts. Instead of giving material possessions too much space in your mind or succumbing to the scarcity mindset, prepare yourself. Be ready to give those physical things up should the opportunity arise for something greater.

Do this, and you’ll feel lighter, freer, and more flexible to start moving forward with your life.

7. Let Go of Negative Comparisons to Others

There will always be someone better, smarter, stronger, better-looking, richer, and more successful than you. Accepting that brings a massive sense of freedom—you no longer have to try to be the “best” or “most” anything.

Compare yourself not to others, but to who you were before. As long as you are doing better than you were yesterday, you are the best version of yourself that you can be!

8. Let Go of Past Regrets

If you’re someone who tends to hold onto regrets, you’re far from the only one. You may even have an idea of why doing so is never a good thing. In addition to making you unhappy in the moment, it can breed feelings of anxiety and depression in the short term and long run, based on this 2024 study. But the truth is what’s done is done, and it’s time to let go.

Don’t ignore your regrets, but be careful not to wallow in them – this won’t serve you. Instead, try to understand why you made those decisions and forgive yourself for not getting it all right. Give yourself grace and realize that you’re human, and you will make mistakes. It will do you a world of good!

9. Let Go of the Need for Control

Here’s the thing: most of the time, you have no control. So, why obsess over the need to control this or that?

Having an incessant need for control can be detrimental to your mental health, causing stress and general dissatisfaction with life. And it’s rooted deeply in fear – the fear of what could happen if you lose or relinquish control. It’s time to start living differently.

To let go, the first step is to attempt to uncover the origin of this need for control and make peace with it (easier said than done…we know). This may vary from individual to individual.

Then, whenever you feel the need for control, take a moment to notice that uncomfortable feeling. Stop what you’re doing and visualize yourself releasing that underlying fear and replacing it with something you deem positive.

10. Let Go of Perfectionism

No one is perfect – no truer words have ever been said. So, if you’re someone who’s constantly striving for perfection, you’re in for a lifetime of self-dissatisfaction and even existential vulnerability, as indicated in this 2023 study.

Striving for something you have a 0% chance of achieving is incredibly draining, and the pursuit is pointless. Trust us, you could be putting your time into better things.

How do you let go of perfectionist habits? Create SMART goals. They should be:

• Specific;
• Measurable;
• Achievable;
• Relevant;
• Time-bound.

Creating goals that meet the above criteria can help you dial down unreasonable ambition in a controlled way – be on the lookout for unrealistic expectations.

In addition to that, allow yourself to take a break, make mistakes, do some self-care, and practice giving yourself grace. And lastly, focus intently on the good stuff so you can find more joy in life in the future.

Conclusion: Embrace the Freedom of Letting Go

Letting go is essential if you want to live a satisfying, healthy life. So, we urge you to make a change starting today. Just know that letting go isn’t an overnight thing.

It’s a full-on journey that will take a substantial amount of time and hard work. But don’t let that scare you; you’ve taken the first step – realizing that there’s an issue in need of attention.

If you need help along your journey of letting go, be sure to talk to a mental health professional for assistance. They can help you unpack and deal with traumas, negative perspectives and thought patterns, and more. In addition, they can give you helpful, practical, tailored advice on how to let go, get out of your comfort zone, and make more room for positive change.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How do I make others love me?

You can make others love you by allowing people to get to know the real you; fakeness can drive people away. It also helps to be present when interacting with people to make them feel seen. And be sure to share what makes you uniquely you without being overbearing.

Note: Remember that it’s good not to get hung up on how everyone feels about you. Love yourself, and others will gravitate to that.

What are the signs of trauma blocking?

Some of the signs of trauma blocking include gaps in memory, emotional numbness or detachment, behavioral changes, and sleep disturbances.

When should you let go of things?

You should let go of things whenever you notice that something is misaligned with your core values or is causing you or others distress.

What do you call a person who never throws anything away?

A person who never throws anything away is typically called a hoarder or a pack rat.

What actually makes people happy?

What makes people happy differs from person to person. For some, it’s spending time with family – for others, it’s participating in a fun activity. It can be many, many things, so it’s impossible to pinpoint one thing that actually makes people happy.

Sources 

Toward understanding the functions of peer influence: A summary and synthesis of recent empirical research

Beliefs, self-destruction, and the rational mind

Toxic Relationships: The Experiences and Effects of Psychopathy in Romantic Relationships

10 Signs That You Might Have Fear of Failure

The Problematic Role of Materialistic Values in the Pursuit of Sustainable Well-Being

The relationship between life regrets and well-being: a systematic review

Perfection is a sad and lonely place: A study of existential vulnerability in the life stories of persons struggling with perfectionism